The Credit Memo

I am feeling extremely short tempered this morning. The idiot in the lobby is possibly stupider today than she was yesterday. I'm not sure how that's possible, but trust me, she is extra empty-headed today. She is acting helpless. All of the information she needs to do her job is at her fingertips, yet she can't seem to remember from one hour to the next how to use the menus in the accounting program. It's a menu you ignorant fucktard! Read it and hit the appropriate fucking key!

Every time she has a problem, she complains to me that I must have not given her some invoice or entered something wrong. I walk to her desk and show her what keys to press on her magic solitaire machine, I then return to my office, probably stupider myself just for having been in her presence.

Just moments ago she walked to my desk with a credit memo. It says credit memo on the top in big bold letters. We issue these to our customers when have a credit. "What's the story with this?" she says. "We issued a credit" I replied. "Why" she said, "Because we took some parts back" I said, pointing to the little box that says "parts returned for credit". "So they don't owe this?" she questioned. "It's a credit" I responded, trying not to show my sadness in the knowledge that this vacuous piece of meat has had at least one child, thus further polluting the gene pool with her doltish offspring, "Why would they owe it?" I added. "I'm confused" she uttered. I stared, stunned by the display of sheer dimwittedness. "Accounting is not really my thing" I said finally, "You may need to ask the boss when he gets back on Monday".

Right now I can hear her sighing and talking under breath, trying to get her head around this horribly complicated document laid out before her like some ancient clay tablet. The script staring up at her, just daring her to decipher its mysterious meaning. Just how does one deal with such a document, a document so cryptic, so enigmatic that the boss himself will have to deal with it on Monday? I would do the following:

Dial phone.
Me: "Hello customer, you have credit, did you receive the credit memo?"
Customer:"Yes I did, thanks for taking care of that!"
Me: "No problem, it's what I do. Bye."
Customer: "Bye"

or alternatively:
Mail copy of credit memo.
File a copy of credit memo.

But hey, that's just me, I'm no fancy accountant.

Doctor parkinson declared I'm not surprised to see you here.

My boss is out of town this week, in another state, in another time zone. As usual his shortsightedness has made the last couple of days extremely taxing. Aside from deliberately misleading me about a wire transfer, so that I would in turn mislead a customer as to the delivery date of a very sensitive express shipment from Taiwan, the crate shows up with a freaking C.O.D. for the freight charges. Because of the series of unintentional lies I fed to the customer I had pay the freight out of pocket. It was either that or seriously fuck with the livelihood of our innocent victims in Texas. Would it have been such a big deal to leave a blank check just in case? It's not like this is the first time this has happened on shipments from Asia. Some bastard at some shithole sweatshop in Taipei fails to check a certain box on a UPS document and it ruins my Monday morning.

And now, it's only fucking Tuesday.

Piper at the Gates of Dawn

Rest in Peace Syd.

Update: Obit via Brain-Damage

This summer I hear the drumming.

Things around here are going down the shitter. I'm sure we will see a lot more items like this before either the American Taliban take over completely, or this country wakes the fuck up and regains some common sense.